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Tom Cruise and Xenu Keep a Strict Eye on Katie 12 March, 2007

Tom Cruise and Xenu Keep a Strict Eye on Katie

And here she is, Katie Holmes, the woman who voluntarily entered into a world where the man she married is considered some sort of sci-fi Jesus: after she ditched a blooming career to become a wife and a mother (actually, it was the other way around), the former 'Dawson's Creek' alum has finally found a director who is still willing to take a chance with her and cast her in a movie.

A couple of weeks ago, word on the street (well, not ON the street but rather in certain circles in the movie industry) had it that Katie was having serious problems in finding a role with which to re-launch her career. After she declined reprising her part as Batman's love interest in 'The Dark Knight', various sources reported that no one in Hollywood wanted to work with her anymore for several reasons.



First off, there was the fact that she never had such a brilliant career to start with. I mean, sure, she was probably the most famous member of the cast of 'Dawson's Creek' and she did star in 'Batman: The Beginning' but, sometimes, two major parts are not enough for somebody of her alleged caliber. Secondly, when she was well on her way to universal fame, she forsake her acting career to become a mother and, months later, the wife of one of the weirdest and most ridiculed figures in all Hollywood, Tom Cruise. Naturally, all the major studios and the directors began to shun her – to cast her in a movie would have killed it, by chasing away the audience.

Then again, it's not as if Katie was in such a rush to get back on the silver screen, despite of what many 'insiders' told the media. And, eventually, she did get her second chance: a movie called 'Mad Money', co-starring Diane Keaton and Queen Latifah, a film about women and the way they bond with each other (like, yawn!). Clearly, no one is really anxious or eager to see it... And, for that, we have Tom to thank... again!

Sources from inside the studio have spoken to the media and revealed that the wacky actor, or Jesus Cruise, as he goes by his middle name, is set to keep his wife under strict observation. He will be accompanying her on the set (to 'help her', he says) and watch every move that she makes. Plus, they say he was the one who chose this part for Katie because, you see, there are no sex or kissing scenes involved. Subtle, dude! Very subtle.

'Tom has called producers and told them he will be on set every day. He wants to observe what's going on and will probably help Katie out. Katie's agent, Hylda Queally [at CAA], chose this role for her because it is a female buddy movie. There is no love interest and she wouldn't be kissing anyone or have a sex scene.', the spy tells PageSix.

If this is true, I suppose we'll get to see in a month or so, when production for 'Mad Money' starts. Tom could also consider other options to this around the clock surveillance: electronic tracking collars, ankle bracelets, chips that can be implanted and what not. Also, he could plead with the Martians from planet Xenu to watch over Katie from high up in the sky. It would definitely save him a lot of time...

Posted by admin at 06:19 PM | View: (127)

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